Wholeness!

Itz a hot day n chennai, really a boilin hotness. Bt i felt t freezin chillness wen m standin near him. His hands holdin mine, restin ma head on his shoulder. Oh god!! Is tis heaven? I felt t divinity,wholeness. He came fr me last sunday,as usual, frm t day v got fixed. I wl b yearning to meet him on sundayz, i never got tired to tell him tat i miss him on weekdays. We met, he bought me brkfst n fine hotel. I dono y he s waitin fr me to order first. I dono y he alwayz give first preference fr ma choice. Nt even a single day, he did anyting fr himself. He alwayz admires me. He loves watever i do,watever. Tat made me to go mad abt him. He s lyk ma mom's substitue,alwayz havng a thought tat m childish,blamless,lean. Bt not so. "I'm workin man!Dont call me a kid." Although honestly i dont lyk ma job. Bt i do hv faith tat i wl get an apt job very soon. And moreover i dont lyk his job too. "Work till u die." One whole day off fr a week, tats t sunday. And tats a big deal fr em. And tat sunday s fr me! We finished brkfst, came out, standin n a shade,were discussin whr to date. Asusual, itz my choice. He,holding ma hand,smiling at me,caressing ma fingers. Obviously i stopped thinkin. Strtd to smile. Besides us n a share-auto, old hit song, "En kanmani en kaadhali ila maangani..", wit an exclaimed voice, sumbdy, uttered ma name. I turned back, it wus ma skool frnd, her face wus bloomin as she saw me after a long tym, bt thn I had no words, still n shock, dono y. I dint felt bad tat she saw me wit a guy, or she wl tink bad abt me,or she s n anger fr I dint keep n touch wit her aftr ma skool. Actly I wus shocked,nd wus n dream wit ma man. J Nd she woke me out o tat. V were talkin formally as if v r stranger to each other. I dint introduce him to her, nd I dint gave ears to wat she said. I dono wat I wus thinkin, bt I wus watchin ma man wit blank smile. The only word I heard from her is “Bye de..” instantly I bid bye nd strtd to walk towards him. Then fr t whole day I askd him tat y I acted so idiotic. Wenever I ask him , he wil hold ma hand and smile. I realized tat I hv been maself wen m wit him. He drove me to a movie. VTV, tis movie has a unique feature tat anybdy who watches tis wl match up t storyline and characters to their lyf. So did i. V were sittin n t middle column middle row. I really dono who sad beside me bt m sure tat no guy wus sittin :P Tis tym, he wus restin on ma shoulder,holdin ma hand. As he s too tall,I wus sittin erect to make him feel comfortable. Suddenly he tuk his head frm ma shoulder fr t hero’s dad askd t hero to join a company, nd it wus t same company of ma hero J  I said “ok ok.. Ne periya aal than” to my surprise, heroine s Christine, hero hindu. So as we are. She s 1yr older nd m 3 months older than ma man. I knew tat itz so stupid, tat ma mind s relatin ma lyf to tis movie.Finally, movie got over. We came out o t cinema hall. I dono y we were silent fr sumtym. I guess he wus also nt happy wit t endin. Suddenly he hold ma hands nd said,”If t hero had joind t company suggested by his dad, he would hv married her, bt m alrdy n t same company!“ I patted on his shoulder and said”Loose..!” and both smiled. We forgot t tragic ending  nd strtd to talk abt t romantic scenes. And he got the bike frm parkin nd drove me back to ma place. A wus stickin to him. He wus driving fast. Suddenly he slowed down nd said “lets go slow. Be wit me fr sum more tym.” I couldn’t say anything, and wus tinkin hw he gets to knw wat I feel.  We reached ma PG, I got down and bid bye. He dint reply fr sumtym, I said “Hey!”.He said ”Pasikudhu.Va.” I dint say anything, got on t bike, had lunch n velachery Thalapakattu, purposefully. Bcoz, tat wl b busy restaurant n sundayz, so they wl take longer tym to serve. Finished lunch by 4 evng. I said “I need to shop”. He wus enormously happy and drove me to city center, our fav spot. I dono y. May b tat wus t first mall v went. Actly I wus nt upto shoppin. I dono y I tuk him thr. Bt both of us were happy,blissful.  We were shoppin till dusk. He dint leave ma hand till we left t mall. Wen he did and said ”Ok.. sit” I realized lyk he s gonna depart soon. We strtd back towards ma place. He wus drivin slow. Me, stickin to him,ma throat strtd painin,t stage b4 I strt to cry out. He said ”Take care dear!” I got down. I don’t wana describe want we felt while departin. I don’t wana remember it. He left. Tat wus nt his bike, he used to borrow it frm ma frnd n Chennai. He returned it and boarded bus to his place. Again he left me alone, isolated,deserted. Yearning to feel t wholeness! Next Sunday!

The launch...

In a remote place, tented n PG, a huge house-first floor-kitchen-near the rack-bunker cot.. M having ma brkfst (Idly wit sambar and chilly powder) wit ma best pals, typin wit ma left hand. I knw i can do type it aftr finish eatin. Bt i couldnt stop either :p I dono y suddenly i wish 2 blog, which i ever hated. Tym changes evryting so do i. And really i dono hw long i wl blog. I wish i could do tis atleast fr tis year :)